Day 30: Cry away!

Posted by on Jan 30, 2012

Day 30:  Cry away!

Day 30.  I cry as I edit.  But not in a, “this is such an incredibly moving scene” way.  No.  I’m weeping out of frustration.  I may know the rudimentary basics of Avid and how to cut something together but I have no knowledge of anything technical.  If something gets wonky, I can’t fix it.  A few days ago I was convinced that a group was out of sync.  I’m still convinced.  A “group” is multiple cameras’ picture and audio synced to where you can see all the options in one screen and intercut between them easily.  If they’re out of sync, the audio doesn’t match the picture.

My producing partner takes a look and informs me he can’t find anything out of sync in the group.  “So, you’re telling me I’m crazy?”  “No, it might have drifted a few frames I just can’t see it.”  “So, you are telling me I’m crazy.”  “Don’t get frustrated” he offers.  “It’s too late for that!”  The conversation deteriorates from there.  It climaxes in me balling my eyes out like a toddler.  “Maybe you should walk away from it for the rest of the day,” my partner suggests as he backs away and heads to his vehicle.

Cry away!

There may be “no crying in baseball” according to Jimmy Dugan in A League of Their Own, one of my fav films, but let me tell you, there is wailing in making movies.  And if anyone tries to tell me tears are a no-no in tinseltown too, well, screw you!  I’ll cry if I want to.  In fact, I say, cry away!  Who cares?  If you can’t laugh, sometimes crying is the better medicine.  I woke up tired and on edge, the weight of a ginormous to-do list on my shoulders.  It was with me throughout the day.  After my recent mini-meltdown, I feel lighter, better…the to-do list isn’t as light as I am but I’m not going to push my luck—or the safety of computer equipment and lives—I am walking away.  Today I learn that to think outside the box inside the box and create from what I have, sometimes I just need to cry.

Until tomorrow, create from what you have…and cry if you need to.

Kelli Joan Bennett is a filmmaker, actress, writer, entrepreneur, advocate for creative thinking and Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Think Outside The Box Inside The Box Media.

4 Comments

  1. Hello:-)

    Knowing that you have an extremely creative mind and hoping that you think that I have at least a partial one, might I suggest that the “box is too small”….create anew. There is not enough room now to do all of the expressive things you need to do. Expand the box, build a bigger one, put more items you love in the box, now re-arrange the box, step outside of the box and just look in. Your tears will turn to smiles:-). Love + xoxooxo

    • Thank you so much for these incredibly profound thoughts! I LOVE this! The beauty in your language and the imagery is powerful. You touch on a vitally important tenet of the whole concept: we always have the power to shift our perspective when we get stuck…literally or emotionally…all we have to do is step back and come at it from a different angle…”rearrange the box!” Brilliant. Create a new order and our “box” is automatically expanded. You have certainly helped turn my tears to smiles. Thank you!

  2. I remember editing ‘Rogue’ last fall. It was during the time that I was helping take care of my dad after his broken hip. I would be trying to sync sound in my office and then get called to the other side of the house to take my dad to the bathroom. Frustrating, yet happy times!

    • Yes, frustrating but happy times. You are so correct. I’m doing what I love to do. How lucky am I? Thanks for the reminder.

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