Posted by Kelli Joan Bennett
Day 47. After putting in a solid 12-hour day editing I not only finished scene 10 (or so I think…we’ll see what happens when I wake up in the morning) but I also I finished scene 16! I shut down the Avid and think, “I deserve a medal.” There’s a tone to this thought, an edge. It’s a cross between put out and pissed…like someone owes me. I quickly catch myself. Uh oh. Yuck. That’s exactly the attitude and outlook I don’t want to have…ever. Besides the fact that that’s just bullshit because this work is my choice, who am I kidding? I am nowhere near the finish line. So no, actually, I don’t deserve a medal. I need to get over myself.
I ran a marathon once. Not very fast and I took tons of walk breaks but still, I ran a marathon. I trained religiously everyday for six months. A week before the actual marathon on an easy 10-mile training run the heel bone on my left foot got disjointed and I had to have a podiatrist pop it back in. It was still wrapped when I arrived in Honolulu and during the race. I started crying when I saw the finish line, which caused me to hyperventilate. I was hobbling at that point despite having downed close to 800 milligrams of ibuprofen over the last 10 miles to keep my knees going. Crossing that finish line was a feeling like no other. It was incredible. I even got a finishers medal. And although a Kenyan won the race that day, I deserved my medal.
These memories drive home the reality that this documentary project is a marathon not a sprint and not only is it my choice to run this race but there’s also still 30 more scenes to go! I have to pace myself. I remember how exciting it was building my mileage during my training program. Wow, I just did 6 miles, 7, miles, 8 miles, 10 miles, 12 miles, 14 miles, 16 miles, 20 miles. I marveled at every mileage milestone I reached and then kept moving forward to reach the next one. Of course. That’s the ticket. Underneath my frazzled nerves and exhaustion I can actually feel how excited I am about what I accomplished today. No, I didn’t finish the documentary and the finish line is nowhere in sight but wow, I did scene 10 and scene 16! Tomorrow, I get to run scene 13. And in this moment, I honestly can’t wait.
Until tomorrow, create from what you have…and remember, it’s a marathon not a sprint.