Posted by Kelli Joan Bennett
Day 57. My meeting with the potential director for the first piece went really well yesterday. She had a bunch of great ideas and an interesting take and vision for the project. I believe she’s my first director! Just as I start to fall asleep last night though I think, “did she say something about a scene with kids in Texas?” My heart shoots out of my body and races along with my mind. Texas? Kids? Oh god. So high maintenance. Will that cause problems with my SAG contract? I instantly spiral even further down into a pile of panicked lunacy. How am I ever going to actually do any of this? Why in the hell did I say three films? I need to reread Day 11 – Why 3 to remind myself exactly, what was I thinking? I’ll be lucky if I can actually get one made. This is so NOT fun! That’s what triggers my shift. I remember that this is supposed to be fun. “If we’re not having fun, we’re not doing it right,” I have said to Screenwriter Monica, Screenwriter Cindy, another potential writer/director and if I didn’t say those exact words to potential Director of first project yesterday, I said something similar. Apparently, I forgot to send myself that memo. I calm down and focus on what was fun about the meeting: new energy and ideas and the excitement of creative collaboration. I am able to relax and drift off to sleep—where I dreamt all night of trying to survive on a sinking ship. I need to send the memo all the way to my subconscious.
As I think outside the box inside the box and create from what I have today, including the Daytona 500 and the Oscars, I will repeatedly remind myself of my project’s theme, “If I’m not having fun, I’m doing something wrong.”
Until tomorrow, create from what you have…fun.