Day 112: An Inconvenient Twitch

Day 112.  I’m trying to fall asleep.  I toss.  I turn.  I rearrange.  Nothing seems to stop the incessant and rather intense twitch in my right ass cheek.  Awesome.  I’ve pulled an ass muscle!  God knows I do nothing but sit on said ass for hours on end either in front of the Avid editing or in front of my laptop writing day in and day out.  Hmmmm.  It’s very familiar.  I believe I’ve had this same twitch in the ass before.  I have no idea what causes it or how it’s possible, while doing nothing but sitting on your ass, to actually pull a muscle in your ass.  I must have pinched something in there somewhere or strained my gluteus maximus somehow while adjusting my positions in my chair.  Who knows?  After another few minutes of under the covers leg stretches and massages and more tossing and more flipping and flopping, well, I give up.  I turn on the bedside light, trudge to the living room and get my laptop off the couch where I last shut it down.  I crawl back in bed, prop myself up with a pillow and fire up my MacBook Pro to write about my dilemma.  So here I am.  Ass twitching.  Writing about it.   Just out of curiosity I Google “ass twitch.”  7,310,000 results.  I click on the second one, “Why does my left butt cheek keep twitching?” in Yahoo answers to make sure it isn’t a sign of some hideous degenerative disease.  The “best” answer is:  I would say you should just make sure you’re getting enough sleep. If you’re stressed out about something, try to relax. Maybe meditate or something? Take some “chill out” time. If the twitching is seriously impairing your life, then see a doctor. Also if the twitching continues after you change positions, that may be a sign of a problem.  I think I have a problem!  The twitching continues after I change positions!  The first Google result for “ass twitch” is the imdb page for the movie French Kiss with Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline.  The connection is this line in the movie: KATE:  [to Luc] You’ll become one of those hunchbacked, lonely old men, sitting in the corner of a crowded cafe, mumbling to yourself, “My ass is twitching. You people make my ass twitch.”  Good lord, that movie came out in 1995?!  Where has the time gone?  Wait.  Where has the ass twitch gone?  I don’t think I feel it anymore.  It seems to be fine now.  Of course, you know the minute I shut my computer off, turn out the light and lay down to try and sleep it’ll start up again.  I’d better do a test run and see what happens.  Hang on… Okay, it seems my ass is no longer twitching when I lay down.  I’m going to try and go to sleep now.  Souhaitez-moi bonne chance!  Bonne nuit.

Until tomorrow, create from what you have…twitches and all.

Kelli Joan Bennett is a filmmaker, actress, writer, entrepreneur, advocate for creative thinking and Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Think Outside The Box Inside The Box Media.

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