Day 96: Great friends in just the right places!

Posted by on Apr 5, 2012

Day 96:  Great friends in just the right places!

Day 96.  I drank approximately 32 ounces of liquid about an hour prior to leaving for Beverly Hills this morning.  Not the best idea considering with traffic it will take me about an hour to get to my destination from my house.  Although I peed repeatedly before I left, I find myself about to pee my pants at the stop light at Santa Monica Boulevard and Western.  Seriously, about to pee my pants.  My mind races with what to do.  Knock on the door of that pawn shop?  Ask Siri where a 7-11 is and bribe the person behind the counter to let me use their bathroom?  Damn! No cash on me.  I am no longer listening to Aunt Wanda’s story about cousin Judith calling her out of the blue after having recently won $500 in Vegas. Good for Judy! Now where in the hell can I take a piss?  As I cross Vine it dawns on me I’m really close to my friend’s office.  “I’ve got to jump off, Aunt Wanda, I have to call my girlfriend and see if I can stop and pee at her office.”  As I put my left turn signal on and get in the left hand turn lane at Cahuenga, my friend’s cell phone goes to voice mail. “Craaaaaaap,” I bellow and immediately unzip my pants to take some pressure off my bladder.  “Why in the hell did I wear my skinny jeans?!”  I call her again as I pray to the urinary tract infection Gods that I don’t get one for holding my pee so long.  Voice mail.  “Shiiiiiiiiiit!”  I’m about sixty seconds from her office.  I’m just going to show up and hope she’s in there to let me in.  I flip an illegal u-turn to park in a loading zone.  I sprint across the street, dodging traffic and plaster my face to my friend’s window.   She’s in there!  There is a urinary tract infection god!  She’s talking on the phone.  She’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen!  I tap on the window with knees clenched together and flail about conveying sheer panic and urgency.  Thank god she gets right off the call and comes to let me in immediately.  What a lifesaver!  What a good friend!  She could have been on with the President for all I know but my self-absorbed “need to pee” monster doesn’t give a shit, all I can focus on is that microscopic bathroom in the back of her office where your knees almost touch the sink counter and from the right angle with the window open someone from the next building could see right in.  And the most incredible thing is, she doesn’t care who she’s on the phone with either.  I’m more important.  So just like that.  No questions asked.  I’m peeing at my friend’s office.  Now that’s having great friends in just the right places.

Until tomorrow, create from what you have…friends in just the right places.

Kelli Joan Bennett is a filmmaker, actress, writer, entrepreneur, advocate for creative thinking and Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Think Outside The Box Inside The Box Media.

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