Day 131: Love What You Hate

Day 131.  As I polish off scene number 41—my second for the day—this pops into my head:  Love what you hate.  I pause and think, “Where did I read that?”  As I copy and transfer all of the raw footage and my string outs into Dan the Amazing Editor Man’s scene bin, I remember.  The book’s title is Change Anything—The New Science of Personal Success.  How could I not buy a title like that?  Before you call for another intervention, stand down.  Although this book was indeed purchased from Amazon, it was bought back in 2011 pre-book buying ban.  I bring it up now because—even though I don’t really remember that much from the book—the concept of loving what you hate stuck with me.  I remember reading that going, “huh?”  I didn’t get it.  But right now, dangerously close to 4am, at the climax of my crusade, I get it.

I scan my bookshelves.  There it is, right under Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert.  That’s a good one.  I should reread that.  I look at the inside cover of Change Anything.  I’ve written the date I finished reading it, 12-23-11, and the note, “Some good stuff in here!”  I open the book right to the chapter titled Love What You Hate!  A sign?  Hmmm, I don’t know.  The page is dogeared.  The first paragraph babbles on about “sources of influence” and using strategies from all of them.  No recollection of what any of the “sources” are but the second paragraph resonates.  It reads:

When it comes to changing ourselves, here’s the biggest challenge:  The things we should do are often boring, uncomfortable or even painful.  Ergo, we don’t want to do them.  Well, that’s not completely accurate.  We do want to do them—in the abstract, just not in real life.  We want to do them in the future, just not in the present. 

In the early days, back in 2009, after we’d finished shooting the last pick up shots, I really wanted to finish the documentary.  Just not at the moment.  Or, more accurately, I wanted to finish the documentary but I wanted someone other than me to actually do the work. I loved the idea of the documentary being a complete film but I abhorred the thought of sitting down and doing it myself.  About a year and a half later, I broke down and taught myself how to edit in order to move the project forward.  It was fun learning something new—at first.  But as I struggled to learn how the Avid worked and to attempt to begin editing the actual documentary instead of playing around with little montages to music, the new wore off the crystal edit bay pretty quickly.  I hated it—not just the editing but the documentary itself.  I’ll refrain from going too far down the rabbit hole of my own bullshit but suffice it to say 2010 and 2011 were pretty painful years for me with the doc.  It was incredibly challenging to sit down in front of the Avid and try and conquer 1200 hours of footage.  I wanted the documentary done, just not in that moment that I had to do all the work.

The next bold heading in the book’s chapter reads:  THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LOVE WHAT YOU HATE.  So true!  Dan the Amazing Editor man loves to edit.  And it shows.  He works 10 hours a day at it and he’s an incredible editor.

Could you love what you hate?

The next bold heading reads:  COULD YOU LOVE WHAT YOU HATE?

Apparently, I can.  Somehow my entire attitude has shifted in 2012.  Not that the work hasn’t been challenging as you’ve been witness to with my constant complaining in these reports, but now, I absolutely love my documentary.  And although I can’t say I love editing per se, I do love editing these string outs together and writing the scripts for the editor now.  Everyday I walk into fire up the Avid I talk to it and my film.  Whether I feel like it or not, I brightly say, “Good morning!  Did you miss me?  I missed you.  Are you excited about editing a scene today?  I know I am.”  Psycho?  Maybe.  But somehow I’ve managed to love what I hate.

I’m sure there’s something very deep and profound in the notion of loving what you hate and applying it to cultures, races, religions and telemarketers.  Unfortunately, I’m too damn delirious to articulate it.

The rest of the “Love What You Hate” chapter lays out five tactics to help you actually learn to love what you hate.  Hmmm.  Very interesting.  I really should reread the whole book.  I’ll add it to the list along with Stumbling on Happiness, The Four Agreements, Rework and The Power of Less.

Two scenes to go—four days to do them.  I’ll take those odds.

Until tomorrow, create from what you have…and learn to love what you hate.

Kelli Joan Bennett is a filmmaker, actress, writer, entrepreneur, advocate for creative thinking and Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Think Outside The Box Inside The Box Media.

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