Day 167: 199 to go?!?

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Day 167:  199 to go?!?

Day 167.

My days left in my Yearlong Experiment in Prolific Creativity went from 200 to 199 today. What the…?!?  Crazy!  Freakin’ crazy!  The year is freakin’ flying!  I’m trying not to freak out but it’s totally freaking me out!!!!!

I'm not freaking out.

Okay, glad I got that out.  Calming down, people, calming down.  Or am I?  No, I’m not really any calmer now than before I typed the above sentences.  I did scream though.  That felt nice.  But now the “nice” is gone.  Wow.  F*@K me.  I gotta calm my ass down.  Yesterday I blamed my distracted state on social media, today I have no such excuse.

I probably shouldn’t admit this considering I want to instill confidence in my writers and directors and team and followers, but I totally had an anxiety attack last night.  Well, that’s a little dramatic.  It was more like an, “oh shit, I’m almost halfway through the year and I haven’t shot one of my movies yet, I’d better get my ass in gear and actually make a freakin’ movie really soon because if I don’t I suck so bad,” attack.  And that was before I realized my days left counter was about to fall under 200!

It’s like I’m stressing about not doing what I’m supposed to do instead of just staying focused on doing what I need to do and actually doing it.  Know what I’m saying?  I need to work on that.

Until tomorrow, create from what you have…and don’t freak out!

Kelli Joan Bennett is a filmmaker, actress, writer, entrepreneur, advocate for creative thinking and Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Think Outside The Box Inside The Box Media.

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