Day 226: Waiting for “the one”

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Day 226:  Waiting for “the one”

Day 226.  I see an @connect from @KimSavory asking me to check out a website for this Twitter friend of hers.  Now, I don’t know Kim personally, she’s a new cyber friend on Twitter.  She recently joined the Think Outside TheBox Inside The Box Facebook community and seems very nice.  I click on the site.  It is  Now, I presume “Sean” is going to be like a 10 year old or at most a teenager—a young person—his parents are desperately trying to save.  But no, Sean is a full-grown, 46 year old man.  What?  For starters, I don’t believe this man has an actual 501(c)(3) non-profit organization but he got a .org website.  Hmmmm, that’s suspicious.  Despite the fact that I’m such a perennial optimist I’m always skeptical of people asking for money.

My sweet friend recently had her credit card stolen and a bunch of crap charged to it.  Sweet Friend was rightly upset and we had a text session bitching about what thieves there are in the world and how sick it makes us.  It’s really so hideous that people steal—whether it’s petty thievery or “legal” theft by Wall Street and the banks, it all sucks!  And it wasn’t for groceries.  This person went shopping at Forever 21, a clothing store.  I can confidently say, whoever they were did not need a new tank top bad enough to f*cking steal for it.  Man, I am not a fan of thieves!

When I was growing up, I don’t know how they did it because I don’t remember them ever making a huge deal about it but my parents instilled in me the fear of God if I stole anything from anyone for any reason.  You don’t steal.  Period.  I remember being a little girl, I’d say maybe 5 or 6 and I impulsively grabbed a grape off a bunch of grapes in the produce section of the grocery store.  I gobbled it up then a minute later it dawned on me, I didn’t pay for it.  I stole it!  I got sick to my stomach.  I made a weepy confession to my mother.  She didn’t get mad, she just quietly said, “don’t do it again, sweetie.”  And that was that.  No more grapes stolen since then.

I read through this guy Sean’s website.  In a nutshell, he’s had heart problems his whole life.  And he needs a new heart or, apparently, he’s going to die.  There’s a letter from his doctor stating as much that he’s a candidate to be a recipient for a new heart.  Granted, the doctor says he’s a 47 year old male and in a post Sean wrote he says he’s 46.  Can’t help it, looking for holes in the story.  It turns out, getting on the heart recipient list is not easy according to Sean.  You have to have $20,000 just to get on the list because they don’t want to give you a new heart if you can’t keep it alive and going and apparently, what will keep the new heart happy is m-o-n-e-y!  Good lord.  So, now people are using crowd funding for body parts and to stay alive?  Seems f*cked up to me.  This is a really touchy subject.  Basically, we are now judging who gets to stay alive by whether we donate or not?  Sounds a bit like The Hunger Games.  To top it off, this guy Sean then has to have $3k a month to just keep the heart going via meds.  So he’s not done after he raises the 20k, he’ll never not need money to keep himself alive and yet he’s on disability so he can’t work.  My question is, will he be able to function in the work force if he gets this new heart?  Wow.  Judging whether this guy is worthy of a new heart feels like a death panel!  I’ll refrain from going into the subject of whether capitalism has any place in healthcare.  It’s a hot button for so many, including me.  I can’t say I’m a fan of my health insurance company because I can only afford to pay them—I can’t afford to actually go to any doctors.  Not kidding.  But I’m also not into the blame game, so all I can do is create from what I have, which is very expensive health insurance.

No more waiting!

But I’m off topic.  This guy Sean has a Give it Forward funding site set up for people to donate to his cause.  I’ve never heard of it but it seems legit.  It’s specifically for medical issues and such.  The guy has raised $1861 of his 20k.  He has a long way to go.  I look back at my @connects on Twitter and the guy Sean has tweeted me saying something like, “thank you for spreading the word, I know the right person will see this that will make all the difference.”  I kinda lost my shit.  The one?  Only one person is the answer for your heart troubles?  You’re putting your life in the hands of one person who you hope will come along eventually?  WTF?!?  It got me so riled up.  This guy, who’s fighting for his life, is waiting.  He’s waiting for “the one” to come save him.  UGH.

I get so upset at this notion because I’m just as guilty of this kind of thinking as this guy Sean.  I’ve done it my whole life.  Waiting for the one in romance.  Waiting for the one big spec script sale that’s going to launch my writing career.  Waiting for the one perfect acting part that will take me to the next level. Waiting for the one with the bag of money to finish my documentary.  (Wrote about waiting for the bag of money back on Day 2)  Waiting for the one big financial score—the lottery, the big sale, the big win.   If only it were that simple.  And for a small percentage of the population it is that simple.  Somebody wins the lottery.  But in general, I now know “the one” concept is bullshit.  You have to be consistent in your effort and your work, you have to take action every day for years, you have to meet countless people to find matches, and there is more than one match in everything.  Marriages end after 17 years, the script gets optioned but not sold, you book a part but there’s no pay, the guy with the bag of money never shows and your documentary sits unfinished, you play the lottery but you don’t win.  This is a big part of how and why Think Outside The Box Inside The Box was born.  If we are always creating from what we have, we’re not waiting on anything or on any “one” and that gives us our own personal power back.  Screw “the one” – I’m not waiting for him anymore.

I tweeted back something like, “forget “the one” look for 20,000 $1 dollar bills!  Any “one” can spare a buck!”  I’d like to think if 20k were truly the only way I had a chance of staying alive, I’d be on the street with a cup asking for dollar bills if I had to be!  My crowd funding suggestion seemed to resonate with Kim and Sean and I think they got inspired.  I hope they did anyway.

The whole interaction and experience certainly inspired me.  I’ll be fundraising soon for my film projects and this reminds me that not only will I have to believe in my projects as much as I believe in my literal life but also, I can’t expect any one person to make my dreams come true.  Only I have that power.

Until tomorrow, create from what you have…more than the one.

Kelli Joan Bennett is a filmmaker, actress, writer, entrepreneur, advocate for creative thinking and Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Think Outside The Box Inside The Box Media.

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