Posted by Kelli Joan Bennett
Day 356: I saw a sign on Facebook that read, “the world isn’t going to end, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.” And, poor NASA. They’ve been flooded with questions about the world ending today. Well, I’m happy to report that at 12:12am on 12/21/12, I’m still here and so is my movie project. What looked like it might be an ending has turned out to be just the beginning. And I have Uh-Mazing Romantic Partner, who apparently knows me better than I know myself, to thank. He worked some serious magic to keep me together—because I was falling apart—and keep my team together—there was some “fuck you” drama—and keep all of us moving in the direction of our dream of making this movie a reality—something that after tonight, is without a doubt the passionate objective for all of us. And I had no idea he was going to do that! He turned into Dr. Phil! It was honestly one of the most brave and beautiful acts I’ve ever been a part of. It was pure love.
And I have, once again, been shown: I don’t say my truth and I don’t ask for what I need when conflict arrises and especially if I’ve been hurt. Not that people will always want to hear my truth or give me what I need but if I don’t give them a chance to then I’ll never know. It’s my loss. But by the grace of God and Uh-Mazing Romantic Partner, I did not lose anything tonight. What I needed was there, I just had to speak my truth and ask for it. And, what happened? Clarity appeared, energy was shifted and a key relationship was repaired.
How do we change something about ourselves or stop ourselves from doing something when it happens so unconsciously, we don’t even know we’re doing it? Good question. Maybe we can’t. Maybe all we can do is our best in any given moment and keep moving forward. Staying committed even when it gets stomach churning tough. Figuring out a way through something instead of around it. Finding beginnings in what seem like endings. Letting someone’s love guide you to your deepest truth.
Until tomorrow, create from what you have…now—it’s the appointed time.