Creating 2015—Day 43:   Reading Obits

I had a tough morning.  The kind of morning that makes you crawl in a hole or run away from home.  I did neither but the day isn’t over.  Vegas is only a mere 4-hour drive away.  I looked into flights to MO but those are running 500 bills—too rich for my blood.  Since Tim is out in the good car and I’m not sure my old truck would make the drive to sin city, for some reason I re-read my friend Eddie’s obituary instead.  I read the guest book too.  Then I read my Dad’s obit page.  It’s the same funeral home for Eddie as Daddy so he’s just a click away.  With the one-year anniversary of Daddy’s death rapidly approaching, he is practically in my every waking thought since I had that intense dream about him last week.

Reading Daddy’s obit after almost a year makes me ball like a baby.  Feels good to release the emotions.  I notice that since Eddie has passed away on January 27th, seven more people died and have their obits posted on the Roberson Funeral Home’s website. I didn’t realize they had more than one funeral home location—they have six now!  Back when I was in high school they just had the one in Bethany.  That’s some serious expansion.  I click on the first name on the list of the deceased after Eddie’s.  Vondalena M. Brammer.  Wow, Vondalena was 95!  She leaves behind two sons, and four grandkids.  It reads like she lived a good, nice, long life.

Reading Obits for a fresh perspective

173 people’s names are listed from the time Daddy died until the time Eddie died:  Juna, Cheryl, Lillian, Wilma, Ida, James, Geraldine, Donna, Alice, Evelyn and on and on the names go.  The ones that lived well beyond 80 I feel okay about.  It seems reasonable.  I come across a woman who was just 42, a man who was only 51.  Seems way too young. As do the 60 something and 70 something year-olds.  My Dad passing away at 77 felt too soon.  Like I was robbed of at least a good five more years I should have had with him.  Elizabeth Faye Siddens almost made it to 100!  She passed at 99.  She lost a lot of people prior to passing but she also left a bunch after too:  Survivors include one son, one daughter, thirteen grandchildren, 21 great grandchildren, 17 great great grandchildren, 2 nieces and 2 nephews.

Why am I reading obituaries?  I hadn’t planned it.  I just started reading them and found them fascinating, sad, sweet, heart-breaking.  Then I couldn’t stop reading them.  These people I never knew who had lives and families and jobs and lived and died snap me out of my pity party.  These dead strangers (along with my Dad and friend) help me shift out of my “oh poor me” bullshit attitude.  No, not poor me!  Not by a long shot.  As I read obituary after obituary, I realize my morning wasn’t so tough after all.  It didn’t warrant running away from home or crawling in a hole.  I mean, I’ll eventually be  six feet under anyway.  What’s my rush?

If you ever need some perspective, find some obits to read.  Works like a charm.

Until tomorrow, create from what you have…some perspective.

Kelli Joan Bennett is a filmmaker, actress, writer, entrepreneur, advocate for creative thinking and Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Think Outside The Box Inside The Box Media.

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