Creating 2015—Day 85:   Sleep Farting

Posted by on Mar 26, 2015

Creating 2015—Day 85:   Sleep Farting

I am woken up by the sound of Uh-mazing Romantic Partner’s sleepy laughter.  Annoyed, I mumble, “What?”  “You’re farting in your sleep. You woke me up.”  I assume he’s fucking with me.  I go back to sleep.  Cut to a few hours later.  This time, I am the one woken up…by my sleep fart! “That was me,”  I groggily exclaim.  “I told you,” he mumbles, his turn to be annoyed.  This has never happened to me before in my life! I’m freaked out to say the least.  I’ve heard of sleepwalking, sleep talking, even sleep orgasm’ing.  But I’ve never heard of sleep farting.  Not to mention that I would never have imagined that I could be the perpetrator!  What in the hell is going on with my gastrointestinal system?!?

According to WebMD’s article, 8 Embarrassing Sleep Secrets, sure enough, number seven is flatulence.  Who knew?!  “Passing gas can occur during sleep, but most people aren’t aware of it.  “It depends a lot on the GI tract and what you’re eating,” Kohler says. “There’s nothing pathologic, but it can be embarrassing if your partner tells you about it.”  The verdict: Examine your diet if you’re gassing up the entire room.

That was me?!?

That was me!

The morning after a second night in a row of my sleep farting waking us up, an incredulous Uh-mazing Romantic Partner says, “This is a first.  Seriously.  In 12 years, you’ve never farted in your sleep before!  What is going on?”  I, of course, am mortified but at the same time we can’t stop laughing about this unexpected turn of sleeping events.  I mean, come on. Farts are funny.

Since it is such an anomaly, we turn to the kitchen to examine my diet.  The only new thing I’ve been eating, or, rather, drinking is rice milk.  Seems pretty innocuous but upon further investigation we see that it has psyllium husk in it and six grams of fiber per serving.  I’d had like four servings the day the slew of sleep farting began!  I already eat a pretty high fiber diet. Basically, I was getting almost twice as much daily fiber as I needed.  Send in the sleep farts!

I cut back on the fiber fortified rice milk two days ago and my sleep farting has lessened.  But unfortunately, it still hasn’t stopped all together!  So, it might be time to stop the rice milk altogether or do a colon cleanse.  I don’t know but I need to do something.  We’ll see how it goes…or blows…tonight.

Until tomorrow, create from what you have…farts in your sleep.

Kelli Joan Bennett is a filmmaker, actress, writer, entrepreneur, advocate for creative thinking and Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Think Outside The Box Inside The Box Media.

2 Comments

  1. Glad someone said it out loud. I thought it just naturally happened because we all stop gripping when we sleep.

    • LOL. Thank you so much for commenting!!! When I remembered what this post was about, I had a huge moment of writer’s remorse this morning. Your comment just made me feel much better about my embarrassing admission!!!! 🙂

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