Creating 2015—Day 7: Bad Bridesmaid
Posted by Kelli Joan Bennett
I have been a bridesmaid three times in my life—for two sisters and my best friend—and I’m about to do it a fourth time this Friday. I’m counting it even though it’s a do-over for aforementioned best friend. I was a bad bridesmaid back then and I’m sure I haven’t been any better this go-round. I had to be “talked to” the first time for slacking off. I can’t remember what I did or didn’t do. I’m sure it involved not paying enough attention. The official duties of a bridesmaid to me are getting the dress, showing up on the day, standing where told to, drinking copious amounts of liquor and sleeping with a groomsman or two. At least that was my definition 20 years ago, the last time I did this.
I need a refresher course! I should watch that Katherine Heigl movie where she’s always a bridesmaid never a bride and a bunch of dresses or something. Or maybe I re-watch Bridesmaids with Kristin Wiig? That’s my kind of bridal party! The only problem is, I’m out of time. I’m on a plane to Cancun in 24 hours and I don’t even have a strapless bra for my bridesmaid dress yet! I suck.
I got the dress!
On top of bra shopping, I am apparently supposed to say something at the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night. What?!? Did I do that the first time? I don’t think so but honestly, I don’t remember. I don’t think I can do it. I’m not a good public speaker. I know, I know, the irony considering I’m an actor. What can I say? I need a script! My best friend bride did write “no pressure, seriously” in her email. I hope she meant it. Whenever I think of something to say, I start to cry. I’m over the moon happy that Best Friend Bride and her fiancé found each other. I had my doubts in the beginning about the groom but it turns out he’s one of the good guys. I’ve never been happier being wrong in my life. I am so thrilled for Best Friend Bride that I will probably ball my eyes out through the entire ceremony.
The year Best Friend Bride tied the knot the first time I did, too. She had the big wedding with dresses and flowers and people and rice. I eloped. Weddings have never been my thing. I have a sneaking suspicion my aversion to weddings comes from my Mother. She never promoted any of her girls to get married despite having a very successful marriage herself. “Focus on getting your education, having a career, having a life, you don’t need a man,” she’d say. Of course, we all got married. Of course, we all got divorced except for one. But she wisely didn’t marry until her 30’s. For me, marriage in my 20’s was destined to end by 30. Thank god I didn’t spend a shit load of money, right?
I need to change my anti-wedding ways because I actually plan to plan a wedding this year. Mine. Yes, I said it. Uh-mazing Romantic Partner and I have decided it is finally time to get hitched after 12 years—engaged for the last 8. What can I say? We’re late bloomers. And, we believe in the concept, “if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it.” What started all of this wedding talk was when my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. It was a wake-up call. We wanted to do it last year so he could walk me down the aisle but he went so fast and felt so ill, there was no time. We did tell him of our plans and he gave us his blessing before he passed.
First time ever buying one of these.
Even though I know nothing about weddings, I want my do-over marriage to be completely different this time. I mean, why wouldn’t I? My first one failed miserably! I have been paying much closer attention to Best Friend Bride’s wedding planning and process. My assessment? She went through hell to plan her dream wedding! I don’t think I’m as strong-willed as she is. I will need a wedding planner! The other problem is, I don’t have a “dream” wedding, which poses a challenge. How do I even start to figure out what I would want in a wedding when I’ve never wanted a wedding? I bought a bridal magazine. First time ever. Hated it! The wedding industry is such a massive manipulation. It’s a total scam. A reason to charge three times the normal price for napkins. But I regress back to my anti-wedding stance.
A wedding has never been a dream for me. But, celebrating my dream man and my dream relationship is something I think I can get behind. I can definitely get behind having the experience. I love new experiences! I also love the idea of capturing the experience in pictures. A special moment in time when we are still young enough to look good—with the right lighting anyway—and that we will have for posterity. That feels exciting. Interesting. Dare I say it? Dreamy. And those revelations help me to better understand Best Friend Bride’s tireless drive to get her wedding planned perfectly. Which brings me back to being braless. This bad bridesmaid has to get her ass going! So much to do.
Despite my intermittent surly attitude about weddings, I’m excited to be a part of such a momentous and meaningful day. It is truly an honor to be Best Friend Bride’s bridesmaid. Now, I’d better not screw anything up! Or sleep with anyone besides my future husband.
Until tomorrow, create from what you have…meaningful experiences to be a part of.
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