Day 161: Break

Day 161.  I wake up and know immediately the weekend is being taken off.  48 hours.  No writing, no creating, no thinking outside inside anything, just slowing down, long walks, good food and sleep.  Hello, Saturday.  I’ve missed you.

The reason for the 48-hour break is because I woke up from an anxiety dream.  I am on the set of a film.  I’d been cast in a part but I don’t know what, exactly, the part is.  I can’t get my tooth in and then, it breaks off!  I freak out.  Then the director comes over and talks to me about how she only wants me wearing underwear and nothing else.  “I hope that’s okay with you,” she says.  First, I panic about the fact that my underwear is really old and gross then I realize, she wants me to be in my underwear only—as in topless.  “No, I’m not okay with that,” I calmly say.  “I’ll wear an undershirt as well.”  She seems fine with this.

Anxiety = Time for a break!

I frantically search my suitcase for underwear options. They’re either awful—granny panties and fraying thongs—or stripper style—lacy and feathered.  Just as I’m deciding on a pair, I realize, I don’t even know what part I’m playing or what my lines are.  I ask the AD for a script.  He lets me know, “there is no script.  You have no lines.  You’re just crying hysterically over your mother who has just died.”  (This must have come from the movie Homecoming I did back in March!)  Oh crap, I think.  I’ve got to cry?  The rest of the dream is spent in a panic trying to find a quiet place so I can get in the crying zone.  I never find one.  The last moment of the dream is me walking towards the camera in my ratty underwear and a wife beater in front of the entire crew with no tears anywhere near.  I wake up in a cold sweat.

So yes, besides needing to go underwear shopping, I’m taking the weekend off.  Anxiety dreams are usually my cue to walk away for a bit.

Until tomorrow, create from what you have…anxiety dreams.

Kelli Joan Bennett is a filmmaker, actress, writer, entrepreneur, advocate for creative thinking and Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Think Outside The Box Inside The Box Media. Follow @FromWhatYouHave